Today I thought I would share a book I'm currently reading that has proved to be very eye opening for me. The book is Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. A couple of people recommended this book to me, but I have to admit that I was a skeptic at first. I had heard that it was just another book talking about how wives are supposed to be "submissive" to their husbands. I'm only about halfway through the book, and I'm so happy that I decided it read it. The book is a must read for anyone who wants to be a part of a healthy relationship (which is everyone I would hope), and I highly recommend it.
I won't spoil it for you, but I'll just give you a quick overview on what the book is about. Again, I haven't read the entire book, but this is what I've taken away so far. The book is based around what the author calls the "crazy cycle". This cycle is based on what women and men need most. For women that is love, and for men that is respect. The book goes on to explain how when women don't feel loved they react by being "disrespectful" to their significant others. Disrespectful in a criticizing, demeaning kind of way, not the type of disrespect that is associated with an authority figure. Men crave the type of respect that comes from a woman who thinks highly of him and values him as a person and what he has to bring to the relationship. Consequently when men don't feel respected they act in an unloving manner. This creates a vicious cycle that can end really terribly.
The book gives great advice on how to avoid the "crazy cycle" and get on the "energizing cycle" where each other's needs are valued and respected. Luckily for T and I, we are in the beginning stages of our life together where it's easy to get along without kids and finances adding stress to the relationship. Therefore, I feel that it's natural for us to show each other love and respect now, but I know that this is something we will have to work at when life throws us those inevitable lemons. It's easy for we as women to show our significant others love because that's what we crave most and what comes most natural to us. But, try showing your man that you truly respect him - his aspirations, qualities and what he brings to the relationship. I promise you that it's a whole other type of affection, and when you do it will be greatly appreciated.
I truly believe that this book is capable of healing, strengthening and transforming relationships. And I'm only halfway done! There is so much more that I didn't even touch on - great analogies, examples and testimonies that will give you a whole new perspective.
Last night was filled with more Christmas party prep! I have to say that I'm loving this stage of my life. I enjoyed my college days filled with late nights out on the town and schedules that allowed for sleeping in, but I think I have finally arrived where I've been destined to be. Starting a life and family with the most amazing man, and I couldn't be happier. I much prefer this new stage, and I'm going to soak up every moment of it!
Here's the little buckets I put together for Christmas for my little pink princesses, Ashley and Elizabeth...
Complete with Christmas socks, princess pens and a journal! Target never lets me down. I also have some chex mix deliveries to make!
Looking forward to another day filled with holiday festivities!