Wednesday, March 23, 2011

On wedding planning and not settling

Now that we're 59 days away from the big day, the nerves and stress have definitely settled in to stay for a while.  The good kind of nerves and stress though.  The kind that gives you butterflies (that seem to get bigger wings every day), and makes you pinch yourself constantly because you can't believe you've found the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with.  Have kids with.  Grow old with. 

And let me just tell you, wedding planning is way more involved than I ever imagined.  And I probably have the most stressful part still ahead of me.  I've truly tried to enjoy every minute of being a bride-to-be, and I think that I've been successful for the most part. 

Sure I've had one or two breakdowns (and I'm sure there's a few more to come), but T's been able to quickly and lovingly bring me back to reality and help me remember what's important.  And that's what we've really tried to do throughout this process.  To remind ourselves that this day is about us and this huge vow we are about to make.  Not about pleasing everyone else, which is easy to get caught up in. 

What has been absolutely priceless throughout the wedding planning is knowing that I have absolutely zero doubts in my mind that T is my forever.  I have no idea how women jump through all these hoops to plan such a big event and are having second thoughts about whether or not they are making the right decision at the same time.

The engagement really is a good test of your relationship.  It throws family, friends, finances and a whole lot of emotions into the pot, and it really brings out the true colors in people.  I'm happy to say that I think it's strengthened T's and my relationship, but we know that's not always the case.  We've heard horror stories first hand of what can happen when you lose sight of the ultimate goal. 

I never thought that I would find someone like T.  Part of me thought that I would end up settling in some aspect of the man that I would marry (sad I know).  I just didn't think that such an amazing person existed.  But girlfriends, they DO.  There are plenty of them out there, and please, please, please never settle.  Like my Mom would always tell me, it's better to be happy and single than part of a couple and miserable. 

A few of my best friends have recently ended long term relationships because they realized that they deserved so much better.  They are both amazing women, and I am so proud of them for taking a seriously hard step, but one in the right direction.  One that will allow them find someone who makes them feel loved, appreciated and respected.  With actions not just words.  To be with someone that makes them want to be a better person and not one that drags them down. 

They ripped off that sticky, plastered on bandaid probably expecting to expose a deep wound but instead found healing with only a small scar that will erase with time.  They found that they didn't need that bandaid to achieve happiness; they were strong and independent, and the left behind residue has been washed off with that glowing confident skin revealed, and girlfriends are comfortable, no even better, blossoming in it!  I'm so proud of you girls; you know who you are. 

I'm not saying that T and I are perfect.  We have our share of arguments, but at the end of the day, I know that he loves me more than anything and that he would do anything for me.  My happiness is his number one priority, and I truly believe that it will always be.  And this is what everyone deserves to feel when they lay their head down at night.  I don't rely on T for my happiness; that's unrealistic and only God can fulfill that for me, but he is one heck of a supplement.  And I thank God for him every day.

Long story not so short, don't settle.  You don't have to.  The wait is SO worth it.         

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